I think I just saw someone hide a body.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
