On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize