did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
