you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
