i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
high people should be assigned attendants
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
