oh god the rape fog is back!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
