smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
