My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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