I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
