I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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