Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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