you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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