I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
