I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
