I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
