I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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