whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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