At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize