But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
