Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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