Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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