DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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