why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
