two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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