doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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