There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
