His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
