they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
