We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
