No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize