all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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