Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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