I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
