At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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