Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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