last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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