Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
