Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
