..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
