hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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