god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
