My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i dont even know how to be here
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
