your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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