I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
