Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
