Swine flu. Run for my life!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
