So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize