I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize