That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
