He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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