We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
