You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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