Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
