I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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