Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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