We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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