I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
