I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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