Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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