oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
