i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
