Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'd cum for enchiladas.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Shame - the story of my life.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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