I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
