Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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