he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
