yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
