I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
