the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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