nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No subtext here. People are naked.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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