I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
