she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
