This is not my ceiling
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
